Friday 17 December 2021

T.Bag's Christmas Turkey / Cilla Black's Christmas

As dear Laird McMullington of Kintyre once slaved 'pon his bureau to note: "The moon is right; the dander's up; we're watching channel three tonight; there's absolute hell on". And as cumbersome as those lyrics may appear in their written form, it's worth noting that his same ditty goes on to employ the carefully chosen libretto "ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding ooh ooooh". So y'know, you take your cultural insight where you can find it...

Back on terra iracundia however, messrs Velvet, Bognops and Blackout inflict upon themselves a duology of televisual flagellation from the light channel in the form of T.Bag's Christmas Turkey and Cilla Black's Christmas - two vintage yuletide offerings which evidently did their very utmost to fly the flag for Scrooge-like militant atheism in the living rooms of children and adults alike. So at least everyone's catered for. Which is the meaning of Christmas, we suppose.

Did our Lady Of Perpetual Outrage Dame Pegatha Mountbatten have an inadvertent hand in Thames Television's resounding lack of franchise-renewal? Is a heart-melting sense of festive poignancy overdone by depicting Baroness Cillosis Blackjack as some old lady who sits around the house waiting for guests who never turn up and talking at the television? And is it just true that no good terrestrial Christmas programming has ever been broadcast on a channel which has adverts?

You'd certainly be forgiven for thinking so...


T.Bag's Christmas Turkey
Broadcast: Thu 26 December 1991, 09:50
Channel/Production: Thames, ITV
Writer: Lee Pressman, Grant Cathro
Director/Producer: Glyn Edwards, Charles Warren
Starring: Georgina Hale, Peggy Mount, John Hasler, Laurence Bouvard

Cilla Black's Christmas
Broadcast: Sat 24 December 1983, 19:45
Channel/Production: London Weekend Television, ITV
Writer: Vince Powell
Director/Producer: Noel D. Greene, David Bell
Starring: Cilla Black, Frankie Howerd, Julio Iglesias, The Bee Gees, George Benson

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The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to

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